You Just Have to Do It

A relatable blog about my life.

By Kendra Almosawi

Putting it into Perspective

Ever wonder how someone with so many priorities gets things done every day? I for sure did. We hear about how celebrities manage multimillion dollar companies all while managing a family and social life. How’s that even possible?

There’s Kim Kardashian for example. The woman has multiple businesses, four kids, a reality TV show, a drama TV show, all while trying to become a full time lawyer. How does one person handle all of these things? You can say “well she has help, not a good example”, but when you think about one person managing all those things, help or not.. it’s kinda insane. Let’s take another approach though, one more relatable and personable.

The Realization

I was talking with my friend one day, Jessica, who is married with five kids. She works as a nurse full time, while also supporting her husband’s business and oversees an apartment building. We were in her kitchen one day, and I had to ask her how she manages everything and her response was “You just do.”

She explained to me that there wasn’t really much of an option, which duh of course there’s not, and she just goes about her day and moves along with it. Even though this conversation was only a couple minutes long, it honestly gave me a whole new perspective to life.

The same questions I mentioned about how a celebrity who’s manages so much, now turned into how a regular person who’s also juggling multiple responsibilities does it all. That’s when the “You Just Have To Do It” method clicked in my head.

Before The Method Had a Name

Throughout my life, I’ve worn many hats, and some would say I’ve had the opportunity to live many lives. Before you think, “Oh man, this is some boring story about her life”. I promise it’s not! This isn’t some boring bibliography, just a little background about me for context and maybe you’ll be able to relate too.

We’ve talked about how celebrities have proven the “You just have to do it” method, and also a little about Jessicas story, but I think it’d be fun to take you along my journey and how I’ve applied this method throughout my life without even knowing it. I’m almost 99.99% sure you have too!

To be brutely honest, I’ve never really been the type of person to do the bare minimum. I wasn’t the kid who just went to school and had to get good grades and that’s it. I’ve always had a lot of responsibility, even from a young age which maybe explains why I attract it so much in my adult life.

Taking it Back in Time

At the sweet age of 16, I worked two jobs, while graduating high school a year early, managing a teen social life, and taking care of my younger siblings. I was in a pretty bad relationship at the time, trying to make him happy, go to work, focus on school and just trying to figure life out in general.

You can say that this might be a lot for a 16-year old, but honestly, this is the first time I recognized the “You just have to do it method” in myself. In fact, once I got my first job, a week later I got a call for another job, that’s when my stepdad asked “Well which one are you going to choose?” and my response was “Both, I’m just going to do it.”.

My teachers were a little worried I was taking too much on with a focus of graduating early. My mom was even concerned I’d just fail, but funny enough, I love when people tell me that. Because that just give me drive to prove them wrong.

About two years later, I thought to myself “well there has to be more”. I mean come on, working two jobs, wanting to go to college, but not having time to go to college without the income of two jobs, being in a toxic relationship, and helping raise two little gremlins was a lot of work! Let’s not even bring up everything else that I went through as teen.

When I was 18, I got some advice from a friend to join the military. I needed to get away from the small-town life. I felt the need to make a life for myself outside of the town that people never seem to want to leave.

Exploring A Different World

After a few months, I joined the US Navy, went to boot camp and found myself living in Japan. I was finally experiencing life outside of home and started to find myself outside of the life I once knew. Don’t get me wrong, I still had P L E N T Y of growing to do, but for once, I was felt like I was doing everything I suppose to and it just felt right.

Although it was hard, I arrived into Japan going straight into a deployment for 6 months, didn’t know anyone, and had little contact with people back home, I adapted to the world around me and took it day by day. I just had to get though it, I just had to do it and eventually it got better.

I had days where I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore, and days where I felt like I could do it for 20 more years. I had friends that came and went, I had realized who was really there for me and who wasn’t. I also learned that you don’t need to be home, to create a family you feel safe around. While also realizing that not everybody will have your best interests.

I spent about 4 years in Japan, and it had it’s ups and downs. Somedays I cried myself to sleep, others I was thankful that I wasn’t in that small town anymore. However you look at it, I took a step for myself and for my future, and although it was hard, I just had to do it to get to where I wanted to be.

The Turning Point

At 23 I was stationed in San Diego, working for Naval Special Warefare, finally got my very own apartment and was able to create an actual home for myself outside of the barracks or a ship. After living here for about two months, I met my amazing husband while doing a Costco run one day and everything started to feel right.

While work was fairly stressful during this time, I had a personal goal when I moved here, and that was to buy a townhome once my lease was up. I told my husband, well boyfriend at the time, he could do it with me, or not, but it’s my goal and I’m doing it regardless.

Once we said he was all in and serious about it, I knew we would be able to do anything together. He introduced me to life that I could never could have imagined was possible. Together we balanced each other out, we faced hard times, and shared even greater times, and more importantly, he brought out the best in me

As a normal 20 something year old does, I started to get to know myself, my mind, how I think, how I act, I learned to let go of things that no longer served me, and I learned that growing is all part of the process of life

You Don’t Always Have To Do It

During my 24th year in this world, I was still in the Navy working for Naval Special warfare, working long hours when I decided it was time to start a business. I’ve always had a passion for cooking, I love cooking for people, and I love hosting, so it made sense that I would love having a meal prep business right? Wrong.. LOL

Honestly, that lasted about 8 months, because my days were extremely long during Monday -Friday and my weekends were filled with cooking for about 10 people meaning ~100 meals every week. I realized I was no longer enjoying something I once loved to do. I just keep telling myself “keep going, you never know.”

Cooking was always my favorite part of everyday, and it almost felt like a chore to even cook for my fiancé (at the time). I thought “You just have to do it” but no, I didn’t want to do it anymore. It wasn’t fun, and I couldn’t imagine doing this for many more years to come.

That’s where the “You Just Have to Do It” mindset comes in. You don’t H A V E to do it, if you don’t want to. You don’t have to force yourself to be unhappy, you have to listen to mind and your body to what feels right for you. During that time, I was fed up, I lost all of my weekends, spent 0 time with the love of my life, and have a decision to drop it, and move on to the next thing.

Same Me, New Life

25 came around, and I decided I wanted to get out of the military and explore the corporate world. I found a program called Hiring Our Heroes that helped with my transition and ultimately was recruited to be a Chief of Staff at a biotech company to come check out his company. I ended up getting a 3-month internship which rolled into a full-time contractor position once I was officially of the Navy.

This is when life started to get busy, because while I was starting at a brand-new company, I also started college for the first time in my life at 26. I thought I was in way over my head, how can I manage 15 units while working full time, and being a wife?! I was feeling in over my head.

My mental health was going down, I was having panic attacks, and I was dealing with a family matter that just kinda sorta just made everything a lot worse, but I told myself, “you just have to get through it”, “you just have to do it”. Why’d I tell myself that, instead of taking a break? Because It was something I truly wanted for myself, and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me.

A year or so passes and now I was married, working full time with a new promotion, going to school, trying to start an Esty business, and learning how to be a dog mom. I told my husband “What am I even doing, there’s no way I can manage all of this”. Then I remembered “you just have to do it”. If you really want something, you just have to put your mind to it and get it done.

Your Dreams Are Waiting

Before I had that talk with Jessica, I was always really down on myself, sometimes I even still am. I caught myself saying “Why are you like this, you can’t do this” but the moment I switched the “I can’t to” to “you just have to” it changed a lot. Don’t get me wrong though, it only works when the thing you “have” to do is actually something you really want.

I think that it’s easy to get confused between having to do something to better yourself vs having to do something that can cause a negative effect. In times where I second guess myself, I also stop and ask these questions:

What Is The Goal
Why Is This The Goal
Does This Align With My Dreams
What Can I Reprioritize To Make More Time

It take a lot of prioritization and rebalancing to make sure you’re doing something for the right reasons. But when you want something, there’s always a way to do it. There just may be some sacrifices that come along the way.

Follow Your Heart

When I got out the military, I was told by a lot of people I’d just fail. I was lectured for F O U R hours straight by my grandma that I wouldn’t be anything if I got out of the military.

Honestly? That just have me all the reason to prove everyone else wrong. I wanted the best life possible for myself, and when I met my husband, I knew with him, we’d be able to create a magical life together, I just needed to follow my heart.

I got out of the Navy and received an amazing opportunity as a contractor at a biotech company. I also got married and we found love in a beautiful little toy goldendoodle, who’s now our furry son Leo.

Although I was living my life the way I wanted, I still was told I wouldn’t go much further without a degree. Then after receiving my first degree at Southwestern College, I was told, well you don’t have to accomplish everything, you can chill out for a year.

Like after all the lectures I would give up? Oh no.. That’s when I got into SDSU and I remember I actually cried when I found out. Little me was so proud, because coming from a small town with little money into the life I created seemed so surreal. It still does to this day honestly.

I think by now, you know I love myself a challenge. My first semester at SDSU I took 6 classes, while getting another promotion with more responsibilities and training 3 people at once (remotely might I add), and trying to be the best wife and dog mom I could, all while trying to take care of a friends dog.

I called my grandma and said “This is too hard for me, I’m in over my head, I have a work trip coming up, finals due, a trip to my brothers to prep for my newborn nephew, and then thanksgiving right after, with family visiting the following week” her response was “Well, knowing you, you always find a way.”

Her saying those words reminded me of Jessica and gave me the stability I needed to keep going. As much as “You just have to do it” you also have to want to do it, want to make it work, and want to find a way. If not, what’s the point?

It’s You vs You

I think the moral to the “Just do it mindset” is that it doesn’t matter how much you have going on, you just have to do it, but more importantly you also have to want it. At the end of the day, it’s you vs you.

I remember this quote from when I was going through some hard times “You’re the only person that has woken up with you every single day of your life, Take care of yourself.” This makes me think back to the “You Just Have To Do It” method, because if you really want something, why would you let something stop you?

One thing I found, is that once you let go of things that no longer serve you it ends up inspiring you to want to chase that dream even more. I’d like you to challenge yourself next time you say “This is the path I want, this is what I really want to do” and if things don’t go as planned, instead of being down on yourself, use the “You just have do it method” and find a way.

Whether it be deleting the social media apps, spending less time watching Netflix, wake up a little earlier or stay up a little later. Cancelling on social events, or even parties to stay home and focus for a bit. I encourage you to find the time to chase your dreams and just watch how good the life you’ve dreamed of can be.